sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.

so i recently had the misfortune of reading some very shitty things about myself. someone else’s opinion of me. via email. nastiness all the way around. this particular perpetrator had an agenda of course, and as i scanned her hateful words (it was, frankly, too venomous to read all the way through-), i wondered why any of us would take the time to try and crucify — by hearsay — another human being on this planet. why? jealousy? envy? fear? ugh. what terrible motivators. i mean, REALLY. don’t you have better things to do with your day? or hey! here’s a good one — The Golden Rule. oh you know, Jesus, Bible, Book of Matthew? ringin’ any bells? no? i guess not. the irony of this is that i really really really try to be a kind person. i do. i would never go after another in such a way. yeah. i have better things to do with my time.

one of my favorite all time records is Rumours, by Fleetwoood Mac. breakup inflicted, Rumours captures five people going through some pretty heavy and tumultuous times. he said, she said, they said. the title of the record says it all. rumours…could be true, could not be true…all rumours. the thing about these rumours, about hearsay is that 10 times out of 10, the victim, the object of the lies has no way of defending oneself from the ugliness, the opinions, the untruths. defenseless. i am not an innocent. from my mouth have fallen not so nice things about others. i am not proud of admitting this, dear reader, but we have all done it. we think we know things about other people and take the liberty of speaking when we probably should not. words hurt people, sometimes. this little incident (with me being the object of the lies, the rumours, the hearsay-) has given me pause. about hurting others. with my words. getting caught up in the lives of others. why? what is the point? most of the time when we drum up drama, it is to make ourselves feel better in some way. lay blame elsewhere. pass the buck. the next time i feel the need to speak ill of another human being, i will put down the magnifying glass and i will pick up the mirror. life is messy and people are not perfect. emotion rules and sometimes wins. but i think that there is a better way. i have not quite forgiven this little circle of people who felt the need to defame my character, but i will. you see, it is better to forgive than the live in anger and hate and hostility. they win, then. i will forgive, but i will not forget. i know them for what they are and it saddens me. oh well. it is better to be the bigger person and move on. i know who i am and now, i now who they really are. i win.

…listen to the wind blow, down comes the night…run in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies.

©littlebrownbutterfly