if there is one single item in my house that could sum up the majority of my thrift store experiences ‘til now, it would be my 1950’s, double bullet gooseneck floor lamp that i found at a catholic charity thrift store. very hard to find the originals of these types of lamps while thrifting, but reproductions at stores like restoration hardware and ikea are everywhere. there are two lights on this particular lamp: both can be on at the same time or each light can be turned on separately. it is the first light i turn on when i come into my house at night. i depend on it to light the darkness, to allow me see so i don’t trip and fall over everything (i’m kinda clumsy anyway to begin with-). light travels and takes away darkness at the speed of 186,282 miles per second. nice to know when in need of it. it’s fast. lately, i’ve been feeling a little more like the dark of my house at night, instead of the light of my lovely lamp, which, as my true friends can attest, is typically not the case with me. i am a positive person most of the time. i see the good in people most of the time. i can find the bright side of any situation most of the time. i can laugh at myself and my many many mistakes most of the time. but lately, i have been heavy-hearted. too serious. dare i say depressed? uneasy about some of the choices i have made. ugh. i know i am not unique. i know that others get down about their lives from time to time. i know that we all don’t have/get the Perfect This or the Perfect That. sometimes, we are all just trudging the road of happy destiny, stumbling in the dark, looking for the light. it’s an uncomfortable place to be. scary. black. i’m currently trying to remind myself that the fix i need is actually a fairly simple one. a light switch. a decision. when i’m lost in the darkness of my own particular vacuum, all i really have to do is flip a switch, and in 0.000005 seconds or less the darkness will dissipate and i’ll be able to see yet again.
©littlebrownbutterfly
*thanks to bruce springsteen and his amazing record ‘darkness on the edge of town’ that i listened to repeatedly while writing this blog-
nice.
when you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or, you will fly…
patrick overton
thank you mandy may.
I have always maintained that there are two kinds of psyches; those who when confronted with the darkness and the fall go “splat!” in a most spectacular way. But that is a final and permanent end to a temporary problem. On the other side there are those like yourself who understand the darkness to be transitory and recognize that they can get a good bounce from any fall to propel them to the next promontory. Beware the wallowers…. for these are the energy vampires who thrive on artificial drama, sucking up everyone else’s energy leaving them drained. We’ve all known at least one or two. They are faux friends and victims. Healthy people are not always happy, but they use their own energy to get there. They leave us feeling better for having shared their company. From your posts, you fall into this category. Plus I know some of the company you keep and she is of the same ilk.