jackson browne: ‘something fine’. a case study.

when confusion and darkness find me, i turn to music – to save me, to comfort me, to help me move past a particular feeling. there are many songs, many artists that help ease the sometimes treacherous journey of getting to the other side: misunderstood* (wilco) the entire blood on the tracks album (bob dylan), walk in the park (beach house), anything paul westerberg, the replacements, and on and on and on. but that guy from california – jackson browne – always hits a sweet spot within my soul and places me gently back on the road to my own recovery. always. those who know me well know of my affinity for jackson. it was a special and surreal time when i befriended him in the city of angels, but that, of course, is another story entirely… 

have you ever noticed how you lose little bits of yourself here and there? i’ve been hyper aware of this loss lately and music has been a friendly reminder of who i was before time, circumstance and a broken heart became who i believe myself to be. ‘something fine’ is a song off jackson’s first album that those in the know call ‘saturate before using’. the guitar is simple. the verse sparse. the feeling intense. it’s a song whose meaning has changed for me over time: at once a lonely theme song and then a powerful mantra of really really really letting go. i suppose ‘something fine’ is such an important song because there is hope within the hopeless lyrics and a feeling that i don’t quite understand, but one that my heart clearly does. a safe, familiar way to process a bit of the dark and the sad things that exist within, i suppose. this song has become part of the fabric and make up of who lisa is; how i view the past, past loves, past experiences. looking back can sometimes be a beautiful response to understanding present issues and this is what jackson sings of, though veiled in rhyme and kept hidden through beautiful melancholia.

there is this line: “you know that i’m looking back carefully, ’cause i know that there’s still something there for me…”. oh how i know this feeling. right now, something else is calling to me. i’m being pulled back and forth between staying and going, giving my heart to someone or resisting. exploring and writing parts of myself unknown or defaulting to an old description written by others. “…even though you take such good care of me”. what to do? go? look? stay? remain? or change? there is always time on the way to another world, another part of ourselves, to look back and reflect. to see where we misstepped, misspoke, where we shone, where we stood tall. yes, there will be time on the way to glance backward, but there is no time to be wasted on deciding to move forward – it is the only direction. so look at the world and see what you want. pay attention to the beggar tugging at your sleeve. look back, but move on. something fine surely awaits.

with david lindley in london, 1976 – something fine

*(and, yes. i still love rock and roll-)

©littlebrownbutterfly