i sold my house three months ago. i was at the airport in mexico when i got the call from my realtor who told me we we had an offer that was legit, the buyers were frealz and i needed to find another place to live, “oh you know, pretty quickly”. i said ok, wrote a sad goodbye ditty to mr. morningstar, got a coffee and stared at strangers getting on planes. i wondered where i’d move, what it would look like. i wondered what part of the city i’d soon be living. until that moment, i’d only thought of selling my house and actually moving as an idea that some future would bring because other things were happening that i was focused on. ahem.
staying stubbornly true to my detached and lofty (read: total pain in the ass) aquarian nature, i only had a vague, blurry vision of what i wanted: close to downtown. a couple of bedrooms. i hired another realtor. i drove around for days to suss out the vibe of each potential ‘hood. i got discouraged. i cried a few times. i called my mother. sometimes on the road we travel, we lose sight of where we were going in the first place and and why we even started out on the journey; sure there were a lot of places out there to live, but none of them were feeling right and none of it was feeling good.
…and then i remembered that i had to ask for what i wanted because the vague, lofty, detached shit wasn’t working. i needed to be clear on the vision. what i wanted was out there, somewhere – and just because i couldn’t see it/feel it/touch it was of little matter. faith always wins over fear, right? right. the tough thing about this ‘lil lesson in clarity is that it works for everything – but, um, it’s the consciously applying it to every-single-thing-every-goddamned day that’s the bitch. we forget. we slip into negative shit with negative people. the rule is that what you want exists, but you have to believe and proceed accordingly with ev-er-y-thing, not just the occasional, haphazard thought of that eventual boyfriend/girlfriend/job/house/parking spot. get really clear and watch what happens. get really clear on how you want to feel and pay close attention to what’s happening around you when you feel good. get really clear on the type of people you wanna be around and watch who rolls into your atmosphere. get really clear on what you want to see with your eyes and then open them. get really clear and watch whatever you want appear. i found my groovy pad with little effort, by focusing – and by knowing – it existed.
remember what you want. see it. feel it like you already have it. it’s there anyway, waiting for you to stop staring at strangers, wanting you to get on the plane – waiting to take you wherever it is you want to go.
for erin in nyc + a certain someone in austin, tx.
©littlebrownbutterfly