that’s what friends are for (lesson in survival).

so i have been plundering a lot. at thrift stores, of course, but also into my own psyche. oy vey. joni mitchell says, ‘“when you dig down deep, you lose good sleep and it makes you heavy company”. yeah. totes joni. i have been digging down deep with regard to many areas of myself, my life, my decisions, my beliefs, my world, my legacy, who i am, who i am becoming, where i’ve been, what i know and much more importantly, what i don’t know. heavy company. who do i think i am, fucking socrates? my oldest and dearest friend sent me an email last night about my blog. i have known brooke for longer than i have known any friend…since jr. high. 7th grade. she transferred in from colorado and we became the best of friends. we would visit each other whilst in school, she at Colorado State and I at Florida. we’ve seen much together: loss, love, families, marriage, divorce, all of it. this is, in part, what she wrote to me: “There is this one thing that kept occurring to me as I was reading your blog- As long as I’ve known you–let’s see 26 years–you have always been searching. Whether it was for a man, your happiness, your knowledge, your spiritual path, your family, etc. It has been a theme in your life. Interesting. I’m not sure what you will do with that information, maybe one day you might find something/someone you can TRUST and then the search will be over.”

hmmm.

i hope my search is never over though. it’s why i believe we are all here and what keeps me going. back to thrift stores. back to old friends. back to myself. in search of everything. that’s me.