a deer, a dream, a decision.

two weeks ago, i was outside of my office conversing via phone with a friend who lives in portland. it was an uncomfortable conversation about some pieces and parts of my life that were askew, torn, falling apart. as i was standing there in my own private, clouded haze talking, i felt something strange happening. the earth underneath my feet was…rumbling? i looked up. running 20 yards across from where i stood was the most amazing deer i had ever seen; a white-tailed buck with an impressive rack, ostensibly reaching towards the sky. strong. i was breathless, taken aback. without hesitation or fear, i ran to catch him. ridiculous, i know, but in that moment the feeling that came over me was so powerful that running to him seemed…normal. i eventually made it the edge of the brushy area in which he disappeared. i sat down, completely in awe. whitetails – especially mature bucks – are active at night, not at midday. a sign? a message? symbolic meanings aside, an overwhelming sense of peace came over me. it was then i remembered a dream i had just dreamt the previous night. i typically don’t remember my dreams, but seeing this buck made me remember: i was on a semi-narrow, wooded path, walking alone. in this dream, as i came ’round the bend, a deer peered at me, contemplative, yet knowing. all i could see was his head. a buck. impressive rack…the same deer that had just crossed my path moments before.

after years of study in this classroom called ‘life’ (and lessons learned, um, er, the hard way-), i have come to understand that if we are really really really paying attention, the universe will give us little gifts, present us with signs that will shake us, wake us and show us what it is we need to see – what we need to know. in my case, this whitetail ran gallantly by me as if to encourage me to wake up out of my self-inflicted fog and find strength. and this time, i woke up and i listened.

©littlebrownbutterfly