you can search a trivet for the truth or you can look deep inside of you.

oh no here we go again. and by that i mean, oh no here i go again. yeah. i’m in a very odd state of mind these days. like, i don’t care. to further expound: i don’t care what you think. i don’t care what she thinks. don’t care about what he thinks, what they think, what the fucking cat thinks. simply put, i don’t give a shit. and let me just say: it feels GREAT. my dues? paid. my path? it’s clearing up quite nicely, thank you. my new motto: “be with someone who makes you happy.” (thanks to my pal, the sweet + salty rick c. in LA for that lil’ reminder.) 

lately, i’ve been pondering ALL the advice i have been given the past few years. people love to tell you their thoughts, don’t they? what to be, who to be, what you should be doing, who you should or should not be doing it with…and on and on and tirelessly on. ugh. i’m no stranger to (usually) wanting advice or even seeking it in the most random of places. for example, i’ve got this trivet that sits behind my kitchen sink with all sorts of little witty one-liner, advice-y quips from the 70’s. i don’t really remember from which thrift store it was purchased, but when i’m standing there, i usually scan the thing for some insight. but i’ve grown weary. weary of one-liners. weary of people. weary of counsel. as bob dylan so eloquently states, “i ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ in anyone’s eyes”.

i am coming to and remembering that there is nothing outside of me, of us. we make/we create our own reality. what we believe about ourselves is the ultimate litmus test for the experiences we will commence to have when we finally wake up out of our self-induced slumber. there is only what we perceive as the result of what lens we are looking through. dirty window? guess what you’re going to see? angry? guess what you’ll get back? sad? guess what you’ll be? living a lie? guess what you shall speak? i have had the good fortune of seeking and finding those who get the big, daunting, existential “it”. more importantly, i’ve been found by many of these like-minded folks, too. there are those who want to tell you, judge you, curse you. then are there are those who want to help you, show you, know you. the latter are my peeps. the starseeds. i’m not looking for anything from anyone. not praise, not advice, not love, not the answer. i’ve already got what i need – and this? this is my road now.

©littlebrownbutterfly