to the ocean, to the sea, over the mountains and back to me.

my best friend bonnie and i took a day on sunday and went to the beach. malibu is beautiful and warm this november and we were playful — laughing, talking and soaking up the california sun. as i write this now, i am on an aeroplane somewhere over colorado, leaving that golden state, my home. i’ve been crying since boarding (ok, since before boarding began-) and there seems to be no end in sight to this rain. the annoyed flight attendant has just rolled her eyes at my request for a third cup of coffee as the lady next to me in 29E sleeps, not a care in the world, save for the occasional turbulence. oh how i wish sleep could be my fate today! instead, i am jacked on coffee, writing and rewriting this pathetic little blog post and pondering my life. with care, i meticulously turn over in my mind what is useful, what actions will get me where i want to be and what i can (finally) let fall away; looking east from the plane window, i wonder how goddamn long this unwinding process will take and if the colorado mountains are lonely.

…

bonnie and i went to the beach to chill, to escape the monotony, to let our minds be free and look for sea shells. this search is an exercise in patience and quite the happy endeavor. i didn’t see many shells on this jaunt, but i did spot some incredible rocks, lying there helplessly, washed upon the shore. picking them up and turning each one over and over again to see the striations and shapes was a project in and of itself. i labored over which to take and which to leave for the Pacific. in the end, i had four rocks, different sizes, all of which could be stacked neatly upon each other to create the perfect mini-sculpture – balance and simple beauty. and so it goes. it is true that as a general “lisa life rule”, i leave no stone unturned. if you are in the path that i happen to be stumbling, mumbling and running down these particular days, i will be picking you up, turning you over and deciding if i should keep you or leave you be. i urge you, dear readers, to do the same with the people, places and things in your own lives. after all, not doing anything will pay you accordingly, but seeking out that which truly makes you happy might just lead you back…to where it is you belong.

©littlebrownbutterfly